Tragic Escape From Pain and Suffering
by Nephylim
Summary: After Trowa's death, Quatre withdraws himself into his mind to escape his pain and suffering.


Well, this is my first Gundam Wing fanfic and my first yaoi fanfic. I used to doing Romance/Angst fanfics, but not yaoi Romance/Angst. This is a 3x4. You know the drill-if you don't like that then get out. *Sighs* Better now than later. So, I hope you enjoy this. ^_^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Three o'clock in the morning. Rainy and depressing. Quatre is alone. Similar...just like that night from six months ago. It was close to midnight when Quatre received news that Trowa was killed in a car accident. But Quatre already knew...he felt every ounce of pain Trowa felt in that accident. He felt Trowa breathe his last breath as he tried to cling on to life. That next morning, Quatre had to travel to the morgue and identify Trowa's body. The young Arabian lost his composure when he saw his lover's dead body on the table. Quatre never mind Trowa being silence because that was part of his nature, but Quatre could not take Trowa's new silence...the kind that only the dead could give. Much misery overcame Quatre's heart and mind, causing him to faint onto the floor.  
  
When Quatre came to from his dizzy spell, he realized he was no longer in the morgue's office. He sat up and received a quick glimpse of the room before he spots three figures on the right side of him. It was Heero, Duo, and Wefui standing over him. With confusion plastered on his face, Quatre asked, "What are you three doing here?"  
  
"You fainted at the morgue. We wanted to check on you."  
  
"..."  
  
"Quatre, I know this is hard to deal with, but we..."  
  
Quatre interrupted, "I cannot...I cannot deal with this. How can I go on without Trowa when I wake up in the morning? He will not be there... laying next me at night. I will not feel his soft touches and kisses...this is a nightmare."  
  
Quatre discontinued all movement. Deliberately, he created an emotionless face as he stared at his bedroom door. In a monotone voice, Quatre stated, "I cannot deal with this...not here."  
  
Realizing what Quatre was going to do, Heero pitched his arms at his grief- stricken friend. His hands clutch onto Quatre's shoulders and yells, "No, Quatre! Stop!" But it was too late, Quatre started to withdraw himself from the outside world. Quatre closed his eyes and started to tune out Heero's intense voice. He hears the painful echoes of his name bouncing around in his head. Darkness surrounded Quatre as the sounds of his name become nothing but a supple whisper. Quatre welcomed the darkness as he tried to escape from his nightmare. But someone would not allow him to engulf the darkness he craved for. Quatre hears another voice that was trying to pull him from something he needed. He wanted the darkness, but the voice has a peaceful influence. The sound of his name gradually gets louder as he continued the struggles to encase himself with darkness.  
  
******************  
  
This internal battle has been going on for about six months. Quatre would withdraw himself from the world. Each withdrawal would be much longer than the pervious one. Quatre dives into the deep recesses of his mind where he is cut off from any pain or sadness. Every time he hears that soothing voice, it forces him to resurfaces from one of his withdrawals. After resurfacing, Quatre would begin to cry until he could not cry anymore. Then once again he would withdraw himself from the world.  
  
Normally when Quatre withdrew himself from the world, he would have a clear state of mind. But tonight, he wonders about the mysterious voice as he started to withdraw. His mind becomes clouded as he sits up in his bed and pulls his knees to his chest. He wraps his arms around his legs tightly and starts rocking back and forth. "I'm going back...leave me alone." Quatre shuts his eyes and feels himself slipping into the darkness. "Little one, I'm here."  
  
A hand touches Quatre's shoulder which causes him to scream out in terror. Still frighten, he wipes away his tears he looks up at the personal savior that stopped him from declining into his personal hell.  
  
When Quatre sees his "savior", he smiles for the first time in six months.  
  
"Trowa, it is really you..."  
  
"Yes, Little one, it is me."  
  
Trowa lifts Quatre's face and places a soft kiss on his forehead. In shock, Quatre asks, "Trowa, I thought you were dead, but I feel your warm skin, your silken hair, and your kiss...how?"  
  
"It is all in your mind. I have been the one calling out to you. I could see, but never touch you because you would never plunge deep enough in your mind. I had to wait for you to withdraw more."  
  
Quatre was speechless. His once lifeless, sapphire eyes rejoiced as tears begin to build up in them.  
  
"Trowa, I thought you were the one calling me, but I was afraid...that if I followed the voice, I would discover that it was not you calling me and my pain would deepen. Trowa, it has been too long that I had to suffer. Now my suffering may end now that we are united."  
  
"Quatre, your body is suffering from the withdrawals. If you stay here, your body will shut down and you will not be able to return. Do you..."  
  
"Trowa, if you are ripped from my life again, I may kill myself. I cannot...I will not live with this pain. I cannot and I will not leave. The only thing I want is you. That is the only thing that matters. Only you...my love."  
  
"My angel...."  
  
Trowa wraps his arms around his angel as they withdraw into the deepest parts of Quatre's mind where no man could ever reach from the outside.  
  
The next morning, as every pervious morning, one of the former Gundam Pilots and a doctor would come in and checkup on Quatre. This morning was Heero's turn to accompany the doctor. When they enter the room, they see Quatre slump over. Heero rushes over and props up Quatre's body up so the doctor could examine him. The doctor lifts Quatre's eyelids and flashes his tiny flashlight into his eyes.  
  
"Well..." Heero asks as he observes the lifeless Quatre.  
  
"I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do. He appears to be permanently withdrawn from the outside world. There is nothing I can do to bring him back."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ok. How is that for my first yaoi fanfic. Be honest. I know I'm not the best, but I try to write good stories. So please R&R. 


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